


Coach punches a bigot in the Costco

by LaBelleIzzy



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 18:43:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19256977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaBelleIzzy/pseuds/LaBelleIzzy
Summary: http://boopthemanbooster.tumblr.com/post/168968664117/all-i-want-for-christmas-is-coach-getting-into-aAll I want for Christmas is Coach getting into a physical altercation in the frozens section after Mr. NoseyNextdoor says some snide comment about Bitty being queer.gimme Coach calmly placing his bag of peas back into the freezer and then throwing a punch that could drop a Dman.Dec 26, 2017 10:37 am770 Notes





	Coach punches a bigot in the Costco

Collaboration with swingandswirl, measureless, and the OMGCP Nanowrimo discord chat

 

Next to the frozen peas. The same guy who touched Suzanne once, used to touch and creep on other women in the neighborhood and pubescent girls too… proud of “escaping marriage”, wimpy physicality but makes like he's all macho. Clever with words and dodging responsibility for his assholery. 

Coach held his tongue through school, guy thought he was a mover and shaker because he was on the school board (petty power broker) liked to lord it over the teachers and staff, generally gross with all the women, has no friends among the men but thinks they think he's powerful and cool (he's not) says something about Dicky after Bitty and Jack kiss on the ice?

NAH but what if this was someone in the neighborhood who's been sniping at Bitty all the way back to when he was lil Dicky

And he's just been mean but clever mean

Like plausibly deniable mean,

Oh I can't believe you would think that I would think such a thing!

If he's ever called on it.

One of these subtle bullies

Who probably creeps out women with those awful subtle touches

And just has that turn of phrase that digs

And Richard has been having to socialize with the bastard for like fifteen years at block parties and school events and shit

How bout this: dude's a school board member so he thinks that he has power over kids and school employees  
And just like lords it over everyone

And he's never been married, never had any kids and is PROUD OF HIMSELF for it

And Rich has never been anything other than polite, or else silent

BUT  
He HATES THE GUY and has for years.

Dude touched Suzanne ONCE

And Richard made it plain in that quiet good old boy way 

that if dude touched his wife again nobody'd ever find the body

Dude's not very smart because he sneered at Eric to Rich's face in the middle of the frozen foods

Rich is like, cold knot of fury, that clear eyed moment of rage well, you can’t say you weren't warned,

bc of course Dude thinks that there's no way Richard would be proud of a son like that

Coach turns back, looks him smack in the eye, registers the fear

And knocks him flat on his ass in front of the frozen pies

yeah that, for sure

Towering over the dude who's snivelling and bleeding "you thought I wouldn't stand up for my SON??"

yyyyy out cold  
and/or broken jaw

Broken nose is good. Racoon's eyes afterwards for weeks

"Junior is a braver, better man by far than you, you bullying piece of shit. And I could not be more proud of him and everything he's accomplished."

Walking all over town as Richard tells people "what he said about my boy"

Oh yeah. Yeahhhh

And the women he's harassed come forward as part of the #metoo

And the kids at school who he's harassed come to Coach

And Coach listens and gets the school district lawyer in for advice

And then legal magic happens

And Dude basically is shunned and forced out of the school board and the town, loses his job, all that good stuff.

Dude going around shamefaced with two black eyes and a splint on his nose "I heard Coach nailed him with ONE PUNCH" the kids are saying

I need more of this. And Dude needs a suitably slimy kind of name

Chad

Hahahahaha

Maybe Chadwick

Bonus if he moved to Georgia from the north

Or his family's carpetbaggers or something going way back

Holy shit you guys.

Hahahahaha

i like the idea that he's one of those southern gentlemen who's anything but

shit I wanna kick our fictional character's ass!!

**Author's Note:**

> my favorite characterization of Coach, is from jenroses The Rules series.
> 
> like that's such a good story that i've bought a microphone and i'm gonna teach myself to podfic so I can do it.
> 
> Please forgive that I didn't write this up in a proper story style, but I'm in love with this collaboration and just needed to get it out of the drafts and into the world!


End file.
